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About Me
Dum Dee Dum... I am not a super hero neither am i spiderman. I am going to save the world... like as if you would believe. I am a maniac. I came from an outer space which is filled with water. I learn swimming at the age of zero.I wail like a cry baby. I crawl like spiderman, i fly like superman, i drive like batman. I live in wonderland. Rugrats is my friend, so is peter pan.
This week is the most tedious wk of all for tis sem.. well..all projects were due tis wk. I’m so GLAD abt it. Haha. Finally, the projs are off my back. Although I didn’t do v well tis time round.. I’m really v v relieved dat they are forever behind me. ^_^ Psycho proj is not worth mentioning @ all.. but, thanks to cin for ur ‘reference’ though I didn’t get to use it. Purchasing was rather okay, at least every single member contributed a lot..unlike psycho..%$#@ dun let me get started on it.. Poor shenny got an earful hearing all my grumbles..hehe.. SorrY~ e proj dat I am most proud off is LmoD promodel and boy, the presentation slides rawks! Hehehe. All thanks to the wonderful SheNNY~! Itz a v pretty presentation. We make 1 almost perfect team ^5! Lol! But Poor shenny has to endure my fickle-minded and indecisive character..hehe.. I think she almost faint on many occasions. Paiseh ah~ Lol. In the end, though our end product might nt be the best, it’s the best combination of works from the both of us! We got more and more 默契! Cheers!! ^.^ Lol! This was the first part of the week.. I had a lot of encouragement in this first part of the week.. Many thanks to my perfect teammate - Shenny Ng! Hehe..
Next came the drastic part. 人生就像一出戏.how true it is. Almost half of my world crumbled on me juz days ago.. in the same week, the emotional roller coaster of my life almost flung me outta my seat. I hate to acknowledge this, but as much as I hate to, I have to face it. The fact is: the guy dat I’ve always loved has found a ger he truly loves- and its not me. I took it very badly. The reason y I was late for lesson on fri was caused the nite b4, this awful truth came to light. I was badly shaken..for I nv expect all these.. maybe I shld haf, 1 yr ago, perhaps I spent most of my time escaping from reality to admit the truth dat happened 1 yr ago. Usually, I wouldn’t post ‘e truth’ on blog to protect my feelings.. but now dat I’d come to terms with it, and yes, I can take it now.. hence i've decided to share with all of u.. On thurs nite when I found out the truth, tears ran down my cheeks uncontrollably, I dun haf to cry, I juz have to think abt the truth and tears cant be controlled. I spent more than an hr drowning myself in tears and huge gulps of water.. At the instance, I felt I cld die from drinking water. In the nite, I had a dreadful dream to make it worse. In my dream, I too cried and cried for I’d known the truth in the dream (gosh..both dream and reality were killing me).. When I woke up, I found out dat I was late.. but in my mind, all my thoughts were.. why cant I juz wake up and let the dream (‘the truth’) disappear? The whole day in sch, I was v listless. My eyes were actually rather swollen.. I dun feel like talking or socializing at all. For I fear I might juz burst out crying if anything related to the guy arise. I had to keep myself busy to bury my tots. Thankfully CC was there in sch. He needed my helped in proj. But in actual fact, I needed him. Although nt directly, the sight of a close fren being there when I needed the presence, helped a lot. Calm me down a lot. Haha. Funnily, Shenny tot CC was my ex bf. Haha. Back hm, I read up on psycho text for the quiz... I fell asleep while reading and den I dreamt abt the ‘truth’ again. This time was worst..i woke up, unable to control no more.. off to the toilet and I juz cried. Late at nite, I talked to alan abt it.. tears cant ctrl again. No, he didn’t know I weeped. I didn’t let anyone know. My heart was broken, no shattered. Well.. all this happened juz last nite. I cldnt slp last nite. Slpt for 3 hrs and cldnt slp anymore.. Laid on bed, toss and turn for an hr..finally decided to wake up. I got myself v busy. Bath, practise electone, did agenda and notice, do up my blog, Sleep. Almost didnt eat.. no time to think abt it. Distract myself from every tots of him. Yes, it did worked. I think I gotta thank my internal genetics.. haha.. It muz be inborn traits tat makes me a rather strong person to handle a broken heart. Actually, while I’m busying with all the stuff to distract myself, I actually felt dat I was suffering from slight psychological disorders..haha. Cos I juz completed my online quiz ah. Its like.. obsessive- compulsive disorder.. haha.. I actually sweeped the floor! Normally, I wont do such a thing on a sat afternoon. Haha. Wats even surprising was, I woke up at 7+am and bath (Gosh. Sat leh) and kept washin my hands, trim my nails..juz wanna be v clean..I realised Haha. Wont be surprised if I turn psycho.
Anyway.. Now, how do I feel? No tears will burst out when I tot of him, and his special one. Juz a tinge of sadness. I think I had been ‘enlightened’ in 佛堂juz now.. haha. God is v kind to me. I’d learnt a lot. 人生就如风中烛. Life is like a candle in the wind, dat delicate, I shouldn’t waste my time on things dat will bring me nowhere. 该放下就放下. Everything will be lost when we die, I juz happened to lose it earlier.. I’ll get on with life, dun worry my frens. If I can let u know what happened to me, I wont let u guys worry. I am already getting on with my life well. ^_^
I’ll wish the guy and his special one well. Though I cant get the love I wan, I wont deprive others the opportunity to love. Sometimes things that we want badly might not be the things we need. The things that we need might not be the things dat are desirable. I’ll leave it all into God’s hands. I’ll persist no more. Wont bother him and let him know my feelings..for all these feelings shld have emerged a year ago. I juz suppressed it. Now is the time for me to let it all go, once and for all. Move on. ^_<
